Untitled

Well I've been bound and gagged and I've been terrorized.
And I've been castrated and I've been lobotomized.
But never has my tormenter come in such a cunning disguise
I let love in.
I let love in
[...]

So if you're sitting all alone and hear a-knocking at your door
and the air is full of promises, well
buddy, you've been warned.
Far worse to be Love's lover than the lover that Love has scorned...

I let love in.
I let love in...


Nick Cave; "Let Love In"

Everything and Nothing

I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God.
-Emerson

Wow.

Age

My 22nd birthday was on October 15th, 2009. I'm 22 years young. But right this second I feel the weight of every moment of my life. I feel weathered and run down. I feel old.

It took reading a short story by Sandra Ciseneros to remind me that age is a foundation we build upon. When you're 22 years old you still retain all the experiences from your other years of life. I'm 22 but I'm also 21, 20, 16, 11 and 3 as well. The years are markers and checkpoints in our lives. Somedays I want to cry like I'm 3, other days I feel wise like I'm 103...

What I have realized in the short time I've been blessed enough to walk the Earth is that age has no direct correlation to maturity. I've met people my age with a wealth of knowledge to share and I've also met 35 year old fools. Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. Not exactly sure who came up with that statement but it's accurate, no doubt. At least in my life.

Just my truth...

Untitled

I'm sad that I haven't even had enough time lately to get on here and connect with myself...writing has always been so therapeutic for me. My feelings and the ink are synonomous-when I'm happy, angry, sad, whatever-I just let my emotions bleed onto the page like the ink I'm working with.

Some of the material I've been reading lately have been contributing to the mumbo-jumbo rambling around in my head. Gloria Naylor's Mama Day and Amy Tan's Joy Luck Club are two examples of instances where I felt some of my internal fears jump off a page and into my reality. What do you guys think about motherhood, domesticity, the struggle between feminine autonomy and the desire for marriage and a family?

Do you think it's possible to be both a strong, independant individual and a partner willing to sacrifice for his/her family at the expense of themselves? A goal oriented career focused person and supermom? Am I wrong in the sense that I'm unwilling to compromise-that it want it all and refuse to weigh one over the other? I wonder...

Don't get me wrong, I'm only 21 years old. Marriage w/ children isn't anywhere on my radar. But I just find it curious, especially from a literary perspective, the way characters are portrayed when the plot line is written. Are we meant to exist in such extremes? Must I be the successful CEO who neglects her children? Or the doting soccer mom, lunchbags and laundry in tow, who lacks a career that makes me feel that I fulfill my duty to my society and do justice to my education? Or even justice to myself, shit. Both seem like lackluster and dismal existances. The double standard is brutal. Do men even consider this madness? Ever have to prioritize goals and dreams? Hmm, glad I got awhile to figure all this out. Seems like another one of those instances where having a penis gets you perks.

Faith?

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

-Numbers 23:19

Forward Progression

I think it's interesting, when we sit back and reflect, how far we can come in such little time. This upcoming week marks the beginning of my senior year of undergrad and the beginning of the end of my college career. As I watch the freshman move in and participate in freshman orientation I am in awe of how small, how young, how new they seem. Was it not almost 4yrs ago that I too was that small, that fresh, that new? What has changed from 2006 to now? Or more importantly how did these changes come about unnoticed?

Forward progression is something I previously believed was conscious but I'm beginning to make a case for the idea that maybe we're always moving, ever-changing without our awareness. The only constant in this life is change and it is change that forces us to adapt and flex. Our experiences shape us and our experiences make us unique. I have been fortunate that although I've dealt with some tough things my experiences haven't made me bitter, angry or less excited about what's to come. There is always something new and when one door closes- a window is opened. I'm ready to close this door and climb out the window.

I am so different today than I was yesterday. I look at things differently, feel differently, walk differently. The changes have pierced my core and settled into my system. It didn't happen overnight but I can't pinpoint when it happened either. I'm running forward. I pause to reflect but I refuse to turn back. I'm growing into myself and it feels fabulous...

Untitled

A worthy life must have a worthy ambition...

Complex Simplicity

I'm in a state of complex simplicity...no one really gets me...and the older I get the more I realize that I don't really want to be understood.

They steriotype me, they assume, they prejudge.
It really used to get to me but now I see that it's just the nature of the game.
As long as we live there will be people who disagree, who have it misconstrued, who make it their sole purpose in life to derail us with their negativity.
And because I know that it will make me stronger and because I know now that respect and trust have to be earned and not expected
I welcome it.

In the grand scheme of things your opinion is minor in a world so major.
Don't speak unless you can improve upon the silence.
Just my randomness, my thoughts, my truth...

My Nephew

When I'm with you
Skies are a different blue.

?

There is so much on my mind that I just want to spill onto this page. I don't want to carry these feelings around and let them roll over into another day. I want to leave them right here; close this window and never see this negativity again.

So what do you do with a dream defered? I'm not quite sure how to approach mine at the moment. It seems that all at once everything's come to a halt-what to do, what to do? Do I stay? Do I move? Do I push further and continue business as usual, all systems go? Or am I gonna let recent bullshit and inconveniences slow me up and take the year off as suggested? Even writing that is painful...

My family...they don't understand. To them this is just another conversation, just another hope in a sea of wishes. But to me this is my life. I've sacrificed for it, cried over it, prayed about it. To them this decision is run of the mill but for me it's the beginning of the rest of my life.

My dream is all I have. I can't let it go. Hell, I can't even waitlist it. I guess what Einstein said rings true: When the solution is simple, God is answering.

Floating

Sometimes I float outside of myself
I get as high as a kite
I lace my shoes and tie 'em tight
So I don't fall, don't trip, don't stumble
I stay true, stay real, stay humble
Prepared to face the world full frontal
and as long as they'll bee
I'll bumble... :-)

Good Morning

Sometimes all we see or seem is but a dream within a dream...
-Edgar Allen Poe

With that said let's love hard, laugh often and live...to the fullest.
Good morning wOrld.

Everything has been so upside down lately. I don't even know what to say. I'm watching my world crumble before my eyes. Let the chips fall where they may.

Invitation

Everyone's invited to enter my wOrld :-)

If you are a dreamer, come in.
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire!
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in!

-Shel Silverstein

Chinatown

I'm in Boston's Chinatown right now and I'm just...in awe at how beautifully eclectic it is. The style of dress, the archetecture, the smell of orange chicken, the different types of people rushing by....it's just a really nice change of scenary. It's even more beautiful than I remember.

Today is such a gloomy day. It's raining so of course most people are looking as depressing as the weather. But even in this atmosphere I've found something to appreciate. Stop and smell the figurative roses wOrld...

Confessions of an Insomniac

When this zoo quiets down and it's just me and my own echo
Most nights I don't even sleep
When everyone else is catching Z's, I'm up alone with my thoughts.
I just let the days run together like watercolors now,
painting a picture I myself can't even see
Because nothing is certain besides the fact that I need things to get better than this...and fast.

Sometimes I think I'm from a different planet than everybody else. I'm not built like you, we don't see the same.
Most days it doesn't even bother me, but some nights it creeps into my thoughts and I wonder if I'll ever find anybody who will understand me or really get what I'm about.

I used to think he did. I used to...
He was my passion, my pleasure, my pain. And I loved him.
But that chapter of my life is closed now. Back to regular scheduled programming...

Untitled

I never wanted to save the world, only to change a life
and I never wanted to live forever, I'd be content being loved forever
I've given up on knowing everything, I just want to believe in something...
But in my course to know emotion, I ended up with no emotion
I've seen everything but I understand nothing...

Miracles

People usually consider walking on water or on thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or on thin air but to walk on Earth. Everyday we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognise: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child...our own two eyes. All is a miracle.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

True Religion

"Follow me for a few days. Watch what I do, how I walk, what I say and how I conduct myself generally. THAT is my religion."
-Mahatma Gandhi

What About the Thief in Your Mind?

“Don't become a victim of yourself. Forget about the thief waiting in the alley; what about the thief in your mind?”
-Jim Rohn

It is so easy to become a victim of our own thoughts- a victim of our own negative thinking. And many of us don't even realize we're victims. So worried about talking shit and paying attention to everyone else that we aren't paying enough attention to ourselves.

From personal experience I've realized that if you don't support yourself and your dreams first-no one else will. When I wake up in the morning, the first person who asks me how I am always gets a 'great!'- even if I'm not as enthused as I sound. Why you ask? It's simple. If I don't think I'm great how can I expect anybody else to?

I used to think that I needed validation for everything I did. When I got straight A's I was expecting a 'good job'. When I graduated high school I expected a pat on the back. Most of that shit never came. It's not that my family and friends weren't proud or anything...naa, I don't think that was it. They were just doing their own thing. But I resented them for casting a shadow on my shine-I turned myself into a victim of my thoughts by thinking that they didn't care, that I needed to go harder to show and prove. In a twisted way it motivated me to do better...but it also forever fucked up relationships because deep down I felt like they didn't give a fuck. They weren't there when I thought I needed their support. They left me to do me for better or for worse. Don't get me wrong though-with certain individuals in particular there was animoisity over my success. Certain kinds of people subscribe to the 'crabs in a barrel' mentality. They wanna climb on top of you to put themselves in a new position, claw and pinch at you and pull you down when they see you pulling ahead. Those type of people are wolves in sheep clothing and it's up to us to point 'em out and shake 'em fast.

But what I'm speaking on today is the idea that we ourselves need to be our own cheerleaders. We run into these dream killers who listen to our dreams and aspirations and make it their duty to destroy them as best they can. Damn frenemies. Fuck them! Fuck the thieves in the alleys and kill the thief in your mind. Don't set yourself up for failure by thinking that you can't do shit, that you can't accomplish what you want to acheive. Don't ever let anybody steal your dream because my dream is the only thing in this universe that keeps me breathing. Family has let me down, men have hurt me, I'm best friend-less. But my dream, my dream has been rockin' with me since I was 9 years old. Now that it's almost time for me to graduate college and put my thoughts to fruition I don't expect shit. Hell, part of me doesn't even want them to pay attention. I do what I do for me now. I don't need anyone's acknowledgement or approval. As long as Laniesha's happy with Laniesha everything will be good. “Don't become a victim of yourself. Forget about the thief waiting in the alley; what about the thief in your mind?”

Just some daily randomness <3

Dreamer, dream no more.

"I walked beside the evening sea
And dreamed a dream that could not be
The waves that plunged along the shore said only: "Dreamer, dream no more!"
-Madam Marie Curie

My Favorite Things

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things..."
^ My Favorite Things, Rodgers and Hammerstein musical 'The Sound of Music' (1959).

So after watching 'The Sound of Music' and listening to Maria sing about her favorite things I feel like sharing some of my favorites too. So here goes:

Favorite books:
Waaay to many to name but...
*The Art of War by Sun Tse. My guide to life.
*Anything by James Patterson-specifically the Alex Cross series. James Patterson is a monster with a pen. I kid you not.
*The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon. This one is serious...discusses the effects of colonization on the psyche of a nation. I re-visit this when I feel like self-exploration and getting deep.
*Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga.


Favorite movies:
Again, too many to name but...
*City of God
*Oldboy (the cinematography in this one is bananas)
*American History X
*Scarface
*The Godfather Trilogy (classic)
*The Leaque of Extraordinary Gentleman
*The Departed (hip hip hooray for a Boston flick :-))

Favorite musical geniuses:
*I'm a serious Jay-Z fan. He is the truthhh, Adele, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Beyonce (she is the baddest bitch in the world-I swear. I'd marry her!),Santigold, Res, Common, Little Brother, Mos Def, Robin Thicke, Goo Goo Dolls, Dave Matthews Band,Raheen Devaughn, Boot Camp Clik, old school Mobb Deep...

Favorite foods:
*french fries & chicken (real steriotypical right? lol), sushi, chocolate, strawberries & nutella!

Favorite drinks:
*pepsi, french vanilla coffee,arizona iced tea, armaretto sours, apple martini, hennessey & red bull

Favorite places to be:
*in my SO's arms when such a person exists, @ a museum discovering something new, lost in my thoughts, out on the town w/ the ladies...


Now comment & tell me what you like.

Her Letter to Hip Hop

Some of this is absolutely beautiful and other parts gave me mixed feelings but I'm gonna share it with the world nonetheless. She's talented. Hip Hop you know I love you unconditionally just like I love the hood-for better or for worse. I mean after all, I was raised by the rhythm and blues...but as usual that's just my truth...

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"I thought Hip Hop was supposed to be a means of poetically expressing yourself. But it seems these days, you'll say anything to get your CD off the shelf. So let's toast with champagne and good blunts for your health, but first..tell me why?"
-Bridget Gray

D'où Venons Nous? Que Sommes Nous? Où Allons Nous?

At the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, in the corner of a painting by Paul Gauguin, are three questions: "D'où Venons Nous? Que Sommes Nous? Où Allons Nous?" In english these three questions translate to: "Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going?" So simple but so profound.

Where do we come from?
What are we?
Where are we going?

I've seen the painting many times before but never did those three questions strike me the way they struck me today. Before I thought I could answer all three questions with ease but today I realized that where I'm going is a question that has yet to be answered completely.

This year has been so hard for me ya'll. I mean really, you have absolutely no idea. My father had a stroke in December for goodness sakes and shit gets deeper than that. But though 2008 was marked with adversity it was also marked with success. Despite family problems and other issues I managed to keep afloat. I've shown and proved that I can meet any expectation and face any challenge. My experiences have taught me how to prevail under even the most extreme circumstances. I'm grateful. But how can that be? What is it about us humans that make us so determined? So ambitious? So resilient? I've hipped you to my background in previous posts and given you a little of my story but where do you come from? What are you? Where are you going?

Really sit down and marinate on that-where you were, what you are and where you will eventually be. And then, after you've considered it, be thankful for it. Raise your eyes to the heavens and scream that you're happy to just...be. Tell your parents thank you for their guidance, smile at whoever you happen to be around and then thank all the Gods for what you will eventually become. I'm not religious but I know there's something out there bigger than me-and I know it's just waiting for me to realize what I can be. As for where I'm heading, well, that's a question I cannot completely answer. What I can say is that I'm thankful to have come as far as I have and I know wherever I land success is sure to follow. After all, you don't sacrifice what I've sacrificed to half ass anything and that, my friends, is my truth :-).


So World, consider this my official thank you for allowing me to be a part of you.
What am I going to do with what's been done to me today?

Sea of Strangers

I'm not alone but yet I feel so lonely...
Feeling like I'm by myself even though I'm in a room full of people.
I'm surrounded by bodies but that's exactly what they are---empty shells.
Small talk and casual conversation.
Nigga, you don't know me at all. You haven't even scratched my surface.
Ever feel like you're swimming in a sea of strangers?

Black American Princess

Black American Princess: (n) or (adj.), often abbrev. BAP 1: an African-American female whose life experiences give her a sense of royalty and entitlement 2: an African-American female accustomed to the best and nothing less.


^ An interesting way to describe a woman who grew up in the hood and has worked her ass off for everything she has huh? I don't think so. I hope the world understands that there is a difference between poverty and poverty of SPIRIT. Money has never limited me-I've done everything I've ever wanted to do, my parents made sure of that. I went to the best schools, got my travel on...the world is bigger than dollars and cents. Personally, I believe that education and true love are true wealth. Believe it. As soon I get this first degree we're on to degree number two and then three and then bigger and better things. Stay tuned.

Anyhoo, I digress. This black american princess theme came from a quote a friend sent me yesterday ( I collect quotes) that I've been pondering. Here goes:

"History has placed us all, Northerner and Southerner, black and white, within a common border and under a common law. All of us, from the wealthiest and most powerful of men, to the weakest and hungriest of children, share one precious possession: the name American."
-John F. Kennedy

^ Isn't that absolutely precious?! And not just because I'm from Massachusetts and in love with JFK lol. Location nor race nor economic status can separate us. We are all American and all bound together by the fabric and fundamentals that make this country so grand. How awesome is that? I feel real connected at this moment. Do you feel it?

<3

What's Really Real?

Have you ever gotten the feeling that some of the people you know (online, in person or otherwise) you don't really know at all? Kind of like if you met them a year earlier or in high school they'd be different people? I don't know man...maybe it's just me and maybe it's because I've run into my fair share of nutcases but sometimes I just feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of fakers and pretenders.

I know ya'll know what I'm talking about. The snotty nosed, mute kid from high school all of a sudden transformed himself into the boss on your college campus or some random comes and tells you that your acebooncoon is a jazz afficionado and you ain't never heard the fool listen to a second of jazz.

It just really begins to bug me after awhile listening to people sit behind computers or on the celly-telly and just yip yap that ying yang when I know they don't even really feel like that. Be you! Everybody trying so hard to be something special that they end up being run of the mill. You seem cool as shit online...end up speaking to your ass in real life and conversation ends up being dead as hell. You got blogs for days but your actual people skills are worth shit. Get offline and stop trying to be cool on the net-get up and be cool in real life. I love connecting with all of my people online but the truth is that life is meant to be experienced, not just documented.

Is it so wrong to be original? So odd to have a little personality or say something real? Jesus was different. As was Newton, Einstein, Dr. King, Kennedy and Ghandi and all are equally as great in my eyes.

Or maybe I'm the one whose got it twisted. Maybe what matters is not what you are and where you're at but rather where you're going and where you want to be. We all have the potential for progression and growth. Who am I to freeze people in time and decide that who you are today is forever who you'll be. And if you do change who am I to say that what is authentic is who you were when logic would say that what you are now, most recently, is what is improved and therefore valid? What's really real? Maybe 'real' is another one of those ideas that is subjective because what is real to me may not be real to you at all. Notice that my blogspot url/twitter name is 'mytruth' and not 'thetruth.' Shit, the pure and simple truth is never pure and rarely simple.

Just something to think about.

Language Love

"I wanna hear a poem where ideas kiss similes so deeply that metaphors get jealous. I wanna hear a poem where the subject means so much that adjectives hold pro-noun rallies at city hall."
-Steve Coleman


^ Simply beautiful. A friend sent this to me today...made me smile.

Twenty-One

Random thoughts floating around in my dome:

1. Where's Waldo?
2. Why is the confederate flag flying over the South Carolina state house and how much trouble would I get into, hypothetically speaking, if I were to snatch that disrespectful thing down?
3. Who was the genius who decided that college should be 4 years? 2010 seems so far away :-(
4. Obsessed was good, Beyonce's a bad bitch and Crystal is a hater extraordinaire for ever thinking otherwise lol
5. If Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers, where's the pack of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
6. Does anyone even read the shit I post online??? lol.
7. Why is it that people always remember the bad but rarely recall the good?
8. Eight's are the gr8test. I love my DST :-)
9. "Are there something's better left unsaid? Or would you wanna know instead?"
10. The creation story vs. The big bang theory. Faith or fact? Rhyme or reason?
11. I have so much packing to dooooooo
12. Why does everything taste better fried?!
13. Did curiousity really kill the cat? ;-)
14. Are we conscious after death? Or is it over instantaneously? When the soul transition's do we retain our minds?
15. If should not is shouldn't, and would not is wouldn't why is am not ain't instead of amn't??
16. Why are we all under the impression that the old days were the good days?
17. Whatever happened to that 40 acres and a mule? (Lol I am so kidding, nobody follow me up PLEASE!)
18. The LSAT is the bain of my existance. These logic games are kicking my ass.
19. I wish there were five days of weekend instead of five days of work, work, work!
20. Why do guys who are shorter than me call me 'shorty'? Or call me 'ma' when I don't have any kids? Smh.
21. Why do people try to buy everything with EBT? And why are there college students with no damn kids with EBT around here?! Requirements must be little to none in South Carolina...and futhermore, how come I know who has EBT? At home ppl keep that on the low-low but here it ain't no thang. Regional thing I presume. C'est la vie!

The Power of the Word

The power of the word is real whether or not you are conscious of it. Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Behind every word flows energy.
-Sonia Choquette

Isn't that a beautiful statement? It reinforces the idea that you are the master of your fate; the captain of your soul. If you speak it or dream it, it will come to fruition. Exhale positivity and hopefully, God-willing, positivity will in turn be consumed.

I go back and forth on my feelings on fate, faith and the like. I consider myself deeply spiritual, but not religious. I write, I hypothesize...I believe in God or a higher power but I don't necessarily believe in institutionalized religion. I KNOW that there is something out there bigger than myself-the universe seems endless and possibilities infinite. I just can't wrap my head around exactly what it is and I'm not gullible enough (or faithful enough depending on how you look at it) to jump on the bandwagon and believe the hype. As english majors we're taught to read the Bible as the greatest story ever written. Alot of it aligns with what's taught in other religions and aludes to historical events. It's beautifully and vividly written. Do I think the Bible is valuable? Of course I do. Do I think it is more valuable than anybody else's book of worship? Not so much. The Bible, the Quran, the Torah...they all have something very special to offer the world.

Since I wasn't raised religiously I've been on a religious exploration for the past 6 years or so. Ive been to a few temples, a few mosques, a bunch of churches....many places piqued my interest and many of them made me feel welcome but none of them gave me the shivers I was expecting. I've felt the shivers a few times-listening to speeches, talking to a loved one, writing in my journal, reading something profound, simply tuning into my own thoughts...the shivers come when you connect with another person in a way that doesn't happen everyday. I mean really connect and most times it happens accidently. Through mere conversation I've connected with strangers sometimes on a deeper level than I've ever connected with my closest friends and family. THAT is the power of the word. Most people hear 'the word' and immediately assume religion or the Bible. When I say the word I'm talking about the mating of the mind, physically expressing yourself through language to another person. Words can be used to help or to harm, to lift or to defile. Words are the most powerful things I have ever seen. Where I'm from we have drugs, gun violence, crackheads...anything vile and vicious, you name it, we got it. I'm more afraid of what may come out of your mouth than I am of anything I've seen on the streets. I know the power of my words and yours. Behind every word flows energy.

Peace and love :-)

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Everything has its price; nothing in this world is free. And when you see a successful person, I don't give a fuck who they are, all you are looking at is the evidence of prices paid that will forever remain secret. BMW's cost beaucoup d'argent, a college education rarely pays for itself...It's about time people give credit where credit is due and stop hatin'. If I see a bad bitch and I know she's in school, working, her GPA is right and she looks like she's doing it effortlessly-she gets real love from me and an A+ in my book. It doesn't matter if I like her or not, if her shit is together then her shit is together. Lord knows I cannot stand a person who is quick to point out everybody else's flaws but completely overlook their own like the rest of us are blind. I know I got issues, I'll be the first to admit them. But believe that I recognize and understand my own before I start scrutinizing and focusing on somebody elses.

It takes wisdom to understand wisdom ladies and gentlemen; the music means nothing if the audience is deaf. But that's just a lesson from my life, a piece of my truth, some daily randomness.

The Life and Loves of a She-Devil

I am currently reading Fay Weldon's The Life and Loves of a She-Devil and I must say, it is enlightening indeed. I don't agree with many of my english major counterparts who call it a feminist critique of femininity and womanhood as we know it, but I do think Weldon brought it home on more than a few instances.Anybody looking for a solid, funny and fast read should pick this one up. This is a passage from the book I wanted to share with the universe:

"It is dangerous to love houses, to put your trust in buildings...
It is dangerous to love men, to put your trust in love.
It is even more dangerous to have house and man in the same basket..."


Ain' t that the truth! You buy a little house, you call yourself stable. You get yourself a little man, now you call yourself complete...until the house burns down and that asshole runs off with the secretary. Or the maid. Or your best friend. Hell, your roommate even. Yes, your best friend and roommate are viable candidates. "Why?" you ask? Because some females are trifling. They call themselves real but they fake, they swear they're the truth but these girls spit nothing but lies, they call themselves women but they scary as hell. Half of them can't even tell their "friends" what they really feel like! Lol a bunch of lames in homegirl outfits. Ladies, you need to get it together for real.

I'm not really as cynical about love as I sound. I've been in love on more than one occassion and I KNOW how beautiful it is. But when it all falls down, believe me, it all falls down. And sometimes, you just gotta take the rose-colored glasses off and see shit for what it really is. Sometimes a house is just a house, not a home. And sometimes a man is just a man, and not the right man. Shit, he might not even be YOUR man. He might belong to all of Boston, Massachusetts! And that girlfriend you think you have might really belong to all of Columbia, South Carolina or Orlando, Florida. Or Memphis, Tennessee. Need I continue?

And just for the record, the shit I write about isn't always stuff I'm experiencing. Sometimes it's just words for the wise, food for thought or miscellany I wanted to throw into the air. Sometimes my life, always my thoughts, but more times than not just my randomness.

Much Love <3.

Good Riddance!

I am so damn glad March is finally over with. Good riddance! It seems like that month just dragged and dragged. The closer we get to May, the sooner I can pack up this dorm room and head home. I can't wait. I've overstayed my welcome in South Carolina.

This summer is going to be so fun, I can just feel it in my soul. I'm teaching 6th and 7th grade summer school English so I am excited about being in the classroom. This summer I'm going to teach, travel, spend a lot of time with my nephew and siblings. I know that doesn't seem major to any of you but shit, when you're a college student on a limited income, you gotta take what you can get. I'm really just looking forward to being in my element and in my own city. There's a big difference between Boston and Columbia...I much prefer the north to the south. Don't get me wrong-South Carolina is cool-the past three years I've spent here for school have been alright and I've met some amazing people. The change in location also provided me with a unique perspective that I would not have been exposed to otherwise. The south isn't bad...just different. And the way southerners (well, some southerners ;-)) view the world is just completely different than I. After three years I still haven't quite come to terms with it but it's alright, I'll be out of here soon enough. Now that it's April the countdown begins. This is the last month of my junior year and the beginning of the end of my college career. Do I sound bittersweet? Do you detect a hint of sadness in my tone? Hell naa! I'm overjoyed. Boston, get ready :).

Hey Young World

Hello World,
Just wanted to take a second this afternoon and formally introduce myself to the blog community. My name is Politically Correct and I am so excited to finally have my own space- a space to simply be, a place to simply exist. There are so many things that run rampid through my mind on a daily and now, through Crimson & Cream Dream, I can share them with the worldddddd. So welcome to my corner of the universe :). I wonder what everyone else is doing on this lazy Wednesday afternoon. Me myself, well, I'm procrastinating until my meeting at 7pm. Lately, procrastinating is all I can bring myself to do. I've been feeling so down, so homesick and just generally ready to tackle something new. Is anybody else out there feeling like this? Like you're ready to embark on a new journey, feel something real? Hell, maybe it's just me... my life, my thoughts and my randomness.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

There are undertones in your silence,
Please don't deny this
Don't insult me by assuming I can't see what I don't know
I can feel it when you touch me,
hold me,
console me.
And though first instinct is to lie
I can read it in your eyes.
So tell me what you're hiding and why you hide it from me?
Let's swim in the questions of your secrecy.
I want to know what you are thinking
What you do when you're away
Where you're going when you're knowing that with me you cannot stay
Does she know that you are scheming?
Does she know you lie?
Did you use the same lies you used to slither deep inside?
At this point I have no words for you
There's nothing I'm interested in holding on to
For I lost anything I had for you
Upon realizing what you'd rather do
So don't worry about you and me
I'm past our history
'Cause love is misery when it's spread amongst three...