Good Morning

Sometimes all we see or seem is but a dream within a dream...
-Edgar Allen Poe

With that said let's love hard, laugh often and live...to the fullest.
Good morning wOrld.

Everything has been so upside down lately. I don't even know what to say. I'm watching my world crumble before my eyes. Let the chips fall where they may.

Invitation

Everyone's invited to enter my wOrld :-)

If you are a dreamer, come in.
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire!
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in!

-Shel Silverstein

Chinatown

I'm in Boston's Chinatown right now and I'm just...in awe at how beautifully eclectic it is. The style of dress, the archetecture, the smell of orange chicken, the different types of people rushing by....it's just a really nice change of scenary. It's even more beautiful than I remember.

Today is such a gloomy day. It's raining so of course most people are looking as depressing as the weather. But even in this atmosphere I've found something to appreciate. Stop and smell the figurative roses wOrld...

Confessions of an Insomniac

When this zoo quiets down and it's just me and my own echo
Most nights I don't even sleep
When everyone else is catching Z's, I'm up alone with my thoughts.
I just let the days run together like watercolors now,
painting a picture I myself can't even see
Because nothing is certain besides the fact that I need things to get better than this...and fast.

Sometimes I think I'm from a different planet than everybody else. I'm not built like you, we don't see the same.
Most days it doesn't even bother me, but some nights it creeps into my thoughts and I wonder if I'll ever find anybody who will understand me or really get what I'm about.

I used to think he did. I used to...
He was my passion, my pleasure, my pain. And I loved him.
But that chapter of my life is closed now. Back to regular scheduled programming...

Untitled

I never wanted to save the world, only to change a life
and I never wanted to live forever, I'd be content being loved forever
I've given up on knowing everything, I just want to believe in something...
But in my course to know emotion, I ended up with no emotion
I've seen everything but I understand nothing...

Miracles

People usually consider walking on water or on thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or on thin air but to walk on Earth. Everyday we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognise: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child...our own two eyes. All is a miracle.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

True Religion

"Follow me for a few days. Watch what I do, how I walk, what I say and how I conduct myself generally. THAT is my religion."
-Mahatma Gandhi

What About the Thief in Your Mind?

“Don't become a victim of yourself. Forget about the thief waiting in the alley; what about the thief in your mind?”
-Jim Rohn

It is so easy to become a victim of our own thoughts- a victim of our own negative thinking. And many of us don't even realize we're victims. So worried about talking shit and paying attention to everyone else that we aren't paying enough attention to ourselves.

From personal experience I've realized that if you don't support yourself and your dreams first-no one else will. When I wake up in the morning, the first person who asks me how I am always gets a 'great!'- even if I'm not as enthused as I sound. Why you ask? It's simple. If I don't think I'm great how can I expect anybody else to?

I used to think that I needed validation for everything I did. When I got straight A's I was expecting a 'good job'. When I graduated high school I expected a pat on the back. Most of that shit never came. It's not that my family and friends weren't proud or anything...naa, I don't think that was it. They were just doing their own thing. But I resented them for casting a shadow on my shine-I turned myself into a victim of my thoughts by thinking that they didn't care, that I needed to go harder to show and prove. In a twisted way it motivated me to do better...but it also forever fucked up relationships because deep down I felt like they didn't give a fuck. They weren't there when I thought I needed their support. They left me to do me for better or for worse. Don't get me wrong though-with certain individuals in particular there was animoisity over my success. Certain kinds of people subscribe to the 'crabs in a barrel' mentality. They wanna climb on top of you to put themselves in a new position, claw and pinch at you and pull you down when they see you pulling ahead. Those type of people are wolves in sheep clothing and it's up to us to point 'em out and shake 'em fast.

But what I'm speaking on today is the idea that we ourselves need to be our own cheerleaders. We run into these dream killers who listen to our dreams and aspirations and make it their duty to destroy them as best they can. Damn frenemies. Fuck them! Fuck the thieves in the alleys and kill the thief in your mind. Don't set yourself up for failure by thinking that you can't do shit, that you can't accomplish what you want to acheive. Don't ever let anybody steal your dream because my dream is the only thing in this universe that keeps me breathing. Family has let me down, men have hurt me, I'm best friend-less. But my dream, my dream has been rockin' with me since I was 9 years old. Now that it's almost time for me to graduate college and put my thoughts to fruition I don't expect shit. Hell, part of me doesn't even want them to pay attention. I do what I do for me now. I don't need anyone's acknowledgement or approval. As long as Laniesha's happy with Laniesha everything will be good. “Don't become a victim of yourself. Forget about the thief waiting in the alley; what about the thief in your mind?”

Just some daily randomness <3

Dreamer, dream no more.

"I walked beside the evening sea
And dreamed a dream that could not be
The waves that plunged along the shore said only: "Dreamer, dream no more!"
-Madam Marie Curie

My Favorite Things

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things..."
^ My Favorite Things, Rodgers and Hammerstein musical 'The Sound of Music' (1959).

So after watching 'The Sound of Music' and listening to Maria sing about her favorite things I feel like sharing some of my favorites too. So here goes:

Favorite books:
Waaay to many to name but...
*The Art of War by Sun Tse. My guide to life.
*Anything by James Patterson-specifically the Alex Cross series. James Patterson is a monster with a pen. I kid you not.
*The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon. This one is serious...discusses the effects of colonization on the psyche of a nation. I re-visit this when I feel like self-exploration and getting deep.
*Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga.


Favorite movies:
Again, too many to name but...
*City of God
*Oldboy (the cinematography in this one is bananas)
*American History X
*Scarface
*The Godfather Trilogy (classic)
*The Leaque of Extraordinary Gentleman
*The Departed (hip hip hooray for a Boston flick :-))

Favorite musical geniuses:
*I'm a serious Jay-Z fan. He is the truthhh, Adele, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Beyonce (she is the baddest bitch in the world-I swear. I'd marry her!),Santigold, Res, Common, Little Brother, Mos Def, Robin Thicke, Goo Goo Dolls, Dave Matthews Band,Raheen Devaughn, Boot Camp Clik, old school Mobb Deep...

Favorite foods:
*french fries & chicken (real steriotypical right? lol), sushi, chocolate, strawberries & nutella!

Favorite drinks:
*pepsi, french vanilla coffee,arizona iced tea, armaretto sours, apple martini, hennessey & red bull

Favorite places to be:
*in my SO's arms when such a person exists, @ a museum discovering something new, lost in my thoughts, out on the town w/ the ladies...


Now comment & tell me what you like.

Her Letter to Hip Hop

Some of this is absolutely beautiful and other parts gave me mixed feelings but I'm gonna share it with the world nonetheless. She's talented. Hip Hop you know I love you unconditionally just like I love the hood-for better or for worse. I mean after all, I was raised by the rhythm and blues...but as usual that's just my truth...

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"I thought Hip Hop was supposed to be a means of poetically expressing yourself. But it seems these days, you'll say anything to get your CD off the shelf. So let's toast with champagne and good blunts for your health, but first..tell me why?"
-Bridget Gray

D'où Venons Nous? Que Sommes Nous? Où Allons Nous?

At the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, in the corner of a painting by Paul Gauguin, are three questions: "D'où Venons Nous? Que Sommes Nous? Où Allons Nous?" In english these three questions translate to: "Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going?" So simple but so profound.

Where do we come from?
What are we?
Where are we going?

I've seen the painting many times before but never did those three questions strike me the way they struck me today. Before I thought I could answer all three questions with ease but today I realized that where I'm going is a question that has yet to be answered completely.

This year has been so hard for me ya'll. I mean really, you have absolutely no idea. My father had a stroke in December for goodness sakes and shit gets deeper than that. But though 2008 was marked with adversity it was also marked with success. Despite family problems and other issues I managed to keep afloat. I've shown and proved that I can meet any expectation and face any challenge. My experiences have taught me how to prevail under even the most extreme circumstances. I'm grateful. But how can that be? What is it about us humans that make us so determined? So ambitious? So resilient? I've hipped you to my background in previous posts and given you a little of my story but where do you come from? What are you? Where are you going?

Really sit down and marinate on that-where you were, what you are and where you will eventually be. And then, after you've considered it, be thankful for it. Raise your eyes to the heavens and scream that you're happy to just...be. Tell your parents thank you for their guidance, smile at whoever you happen to be around and then thank all the Gods for what you will eventually become. I'm not religious but I know there's something out there bigger than me-and I know it's just waiting for me to realize what I can be. As for where I'm heading, well, that's a question I cannot completely answer. What I can say is that I'm thankful to have come as far as I have and I know wherever I land success is sure to follow. After all, you don't sacrifice what I've sacrificed to half ass anything and that, my friends, is my truth :-).


So World, consider this my official thank you for allowing me to be a part of you.
What am I going to do with what's been done to me today?

Sea of Strangers

I'm not alone but yet I feel so lonely...
Feeling like I'm by myself even though I'm in a room full of people.
I'm surrounded by bodies but that's exactly what they are---empty shells.
Small talk and casual conversation.
Nigga, you don't know me at all. You haven't even scratched my surface.
Ever feel like you're swimming in a sea of strangers?

Black American Princess

Black American Princess: (n) or (adj.), often abbrev. BAP 1: an African-American female whose life experiences give her a sense of royalty and entitlement 2: an African-American female accustomed to the best and nothing less.


^ An interesting way to describe a woman who grew up in the hood and has worked her ass off for everything she has huh? I don't think so. I hope the world understands that there is a difference between poverty and poverty of SPIRIT. Money has never limited me-I've done everything I've ever wanted to do, my parents made sure of that. I went to the best schools, got my travel on...the world is bigger than dollars and cents. Personally, I believe that education and true love are true wealth. Believe it. As soon I get this first degree we're on to degree number two and then three and then bigger and better things. Stay tuned.

Anyhoo, I digress. This black american princess theme came from a quote a friend sent me yesterday ( I collect quotes) that I've been pondering. Here goes:

"History has placed us all, Northerner and Southerner, black and white, within a common border and under a common law. All of us, from the wealthiest and most powerful of men, to the weakest and hungriest of children, share one precious possession: the name American."
-John F. Kennedy

^ Isn't that absolutely precious?! And not just because I'm from Massachusetts and in love with JFK lol. Location nor race nor economic status can separate us. We are all American and all bound together by the fabric and fundamentals that make this country so grand. How awesome is that? I feel real connected at this moment. Do you feel it?

<3